How to Have a Heimisher Passover
by Rabbi Marc Soloway
I have such powerful memories of our family seder as a child. There was so much excitement building up to that special and sacred time. My mother and grandmother would make a section of one of their kitchens kosher for Passover weeks before the Holiday and spend days baking delicious treats; cakes, cookies, macaroons and coconut pyramids. Then the cleaning frenzy would begin in full force and the cupboards and refrigerator would start filling up with kosher for Passover products, as we got closer to the final countdown! In the years that I was still the youngest grandchild, I would start polishing up the Mah Nishtana early. Seder itself was almost always at my grandparents' house with the whole family gathered around a table that, in my child's memory, was absolutely huge. My grandfather led most of the seder himself, but we would go round the table reading passages in Hebrew or English and there were occasional lively discussions. The meal itself, of course, was an incredible feast, which usually included my grandmother's unbelievable home made chopped liver and gefilte fish! As young children, my sister and I would often sleep over at my grandparents house after the late seder and I have such fond memories of waking up and having that first Pesach breakfast with butter and jam on a slice of matzah.
Even during the times of the Temple in ancient Jerusalem, the Festival of Passover was celebrated in family groups. Everyone would make the pilgrimage to the Holy City and each family would offer their own Pesach sacrifice, then gather in groups for the feast. They probably didn't have a haggadah like we have today and they certainly did not have all of the processed kosher for Passover food-like substances available to us. Just roasted lamb, freshly baked unleavened bread and local, fresh produce.
Since those celebrations of our ancestors so long ago and the end of a Temple based religion, much of Jewish practice continued to develop in the home, around a table. The rabbis ingeniously taught us that the sacrificial altar in the Temple was now the Shabbat or Festival table and the nature of the offerings and the rituals changed. To this day, a very large percentage of Jews sit around a table for a seder, the details of which continue to evolve in each new generation. The nature of the Jewish family has changed so much in our world with family members spread across the world – my parents live in London, my sister in Hong Kong and here am I in Colorado! Also, with each generation many Jews feel less empowered to lead and create their own ritual experiences. In the 20th Century, the synagogue communal seder became a very popular institution that could bring together members of the community across the generations to have a seder experience led by a rabbi or cantor. These have been wonderful experiences and important gatherings, but it is possible that they have disempowered us even more, as we handed over this aspect of our ritual life to the professionals!
In Boulder, many of us are not lucky enough to have the whole mishpocha, our extended families, with us and so we need community and each other to become our families. This year at Bonai Shalom, we are trying something new. We decided that rather than have another Community 2nd Night Seder, we are going to put our energy into offering a series of classes to help, encourage and empower more and more people to host their own Seders. We are also going to have a more extensive “Seder match” program, to try to ensure that all who want and need a seder are able to find a place at a table for both nights.
One of the words that people often use to describe Bonai Shalom is heimish, which means home-like. We are a wonderful community with a spirit of generosity and warmth and a great deal of knowledge and participation by so many. Hospitality, hachnassat orachim, as I have written about before, is one of the essential ingredients of Jewish life, especially during Shabbat and Holidays. The idea behind this experimental change this year is not to take something away, but to add richness to the experience and to remind us all that Jewish life is just as important and alive in the home as it is in the synagogue.
I wish us all a joyous, redemptive and heimish Pesach!