Rabbi's Blog

Living in All Four Worlds – Kol Nidre 5775

There was a monastery where the monks took a vow of silence, except for one day out of the year when one monk had to opportunity to speak and to share whatever he wished.

The day came, and the selected monk stood up. “I just want to say how much I love being a part of this monastery, and I have a deep connection with everyone here. However, the one thing I can’t stand about this place is the food. It is terrible! The selection is bad, it is always overcooked and lacks flavor. Every day three times a day I have to eat this food and I can’t stand it!” And with that, he sits down.

A year passes, and the day comes again. A different monk stood up to speak. “I want to say how deeply spiritual I have grown during my time here. The comradery is strong and I feel so grounded here. And I have to share, I love the food! Each day I cannot wait to see what has been cooked for us! I relish every dish, I cannot get enough of it! It’s so delicious!” And with that, he sits down.

Another year passes, and the day arrives. A third monk gets up and says, “I have truly cherished my time here, I have grown in so many ways. However, I am sad to report that I am leaving the monastery.” With that all the other monks turned to look at the one speaking with faces of shock and surprise. “Yes,” he continues, “I have decided to leave. I cannot stand the constant arguing about the food!”

I will leave it to you to figure out how this story relates to this powerful night!

Why are you here?  Seriously, what are you hoping, expecting to get out of this Kol Nidre, of this Yom Kippur?  We are under this beautiful tent, but what are we actually doing?  Are we here because someone else wants us to be here?  Are we here hoping that what we do up here will somehow magically make something happen down there?  Are we ready?  Ready for what?  Who am I now and who do I want to be by the end of Yom Kippur?  How we spend the next twenty five hours could actually impact the rest of our lives, especially our Jewish life, and it could be miserable, boring and painful.  Here’s the twist.  That is not determined by what we do up here, but what you do out there and in here and in here….

I am going to ask you all to sing something with me now that some of you will love and some of you will hate, some of you will cringe and some will be moved.  Who will laugh and who will cry?  Who will be cynical and who will be open?  I will explain the context of this later, but the words are:

It is perfect

You are loved

All is clear

And I am holy

Let’s sing.

How was that?  Now the context.  Reb Zalman, who has been so present for me and others over these High Holidays and will be again tomorrow, wrote this chant based on the Kabbalistic concept of The Four Worlds.  These worlds encompass every part of life; the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.  Reb Zalman taught us how each of these elements infuses our prayer and ritual life.  Olam Assiya is the World of Action and is about embodied, physical experience; Olam Yeztirah is the World of Formation and is about the heart, the emotional center; Olam Bri’ah is the World of Creation and is about the conscious mind and Olam Atzilut is the World of Emanation and is about the spirit.  How can we be deeply alive in all four of these worlds?  How can this Yom Kippur and the rest of lives after we break the fast tomorrow be infused with a rich Jewish life in our bodies, hearts, minds and spirits?  We can’t do it for you, but we can offer you tools that can guide, support and sustain the journey.

Yom Kippur in antiquity was such a visceral, embodied experience with goats and sprinkling of blood and so much more and now it has become largely about the words in the book, whose images don’t work for many of us and so it is hard to connect to the real meaning of why we are here.  I get that.  Yet there is something about being in community fasting, praying, reflecting and confessing that has a power that penetrates the body, the heart, the mind and the soul.

Assiyah – the world of action, our lived, physical experience is felt each time we come to the vidui, the confession, as we strike our chests, reliving the pain of our mistakes and gently hoping that we will do better this year; we have opportunities in the Mussaf service to reenact the ancient Avodah service of the High Priest and experience full prostrations, as part of communal confession ritual.  Each time we come to the long list of sins, notice how many are connected to physical acts with our lips, tongues, hands, eyes, legs and that ultimately their restorative healing is also through this wonderful world of action and the commitments we make to use our physical bodies for good.  On 2^nd Day Rosh HaShanah, Dove Weissman led an embodied movement practice and tomorrow afternoon we have a restorative yoga class, both important expressions of engaging our bodies.  The daily morning blessings are prayers for the body, which many of us accompany with stretches.  An important report came out earlier this year called the JOFEE report, which stands for Jewish Outdoor Food and Environmental Education network.  The findings are significant in what they say about how deeply engaged a whole generation of Jews are in these areas, in this assiyah world of activism.  It is perfect, says Reb Zalman on this world.  Even though we know that our own bodies are not perfect, that the world is broken and in need of so much healing and repair, there is nevertheless a way in which it is perfect just as it is.  How might I bring my Jewish life more into my body this coming year?

You are loved in the heart realm, the emotional level of Olam Yetzirah, the World of Formation.  There is a lot of feeling in this day; sadness as we remember and regret and mourn, the joy in this amazing opportunity to reset and to cleanse, to return to a more whole version of ourselves.  There are three of the al chayts, the sins for which we confess, that mention the heart, “imutz halev, hirhur halev and timahon layvav, having an obstinate heart, a wandering heart, a confused heart. This world is also about relationship.  “In this world,” says Reb Zalman, “I can feel that I am loved, that I belong here, that I am being welcomed…”  I hope that however lonely we may feel at times, that at some point here in this tent, we can open our hearts to that sense of acceptance, belonging and love.  The joyful singing of Psalms, our own Halleluyah chorus, opens us to this yetzirah world.  Let’s bring our full, broken, joyful hearts to this day.  How might I bring my Judaism more into my heart in this coming year?

The perfection in the mind, the intellect, or the world of B’riyah (Creation) is that “all is clear,” coherent, and fitting together. Ultimate consciousness, mystically speaking, is to see everything in the created world as a deeply synthesized whole, manifest in the words of Shema Yisrael.  God is one, the world is one, I am one with the world.  Can we taste moments of this transcendent truth on this powerful day?  Expanded consciousness is not about the chatter of our minds and the relentless stories that we tell ourselves there that are no longer serving us, but about opening the capacity of our mind to see that where we see two, there might be one; that where we see other, it may be another reflection of ourselves, of God.  How might our Jewish life help us expand our awareness this coming year?

Yom Kippur is seen as the holiest day of the year for us, partly because it is the day that the Cohen Gadol, the High Priest, the holiest man, entered the Kedosh Kedoshim, the holiest place.  It is also because through depriving the physical body of food, drink, leather shoes, washing, perfume and intimacy, we ascend, transcend, we get higher and higher. We become like the angels where we can say, in Reb Zalman’s worlds, “ahhhh, I am holy.  In me there is the Divine.”  When we have done the work and the ascent in these other worlds, we embrace just how much this day is pure spirt, Olam Atzilut, the World of Emanation.  God is holy, we are holy, God is us, we are God.  In this realm, prayer is so available to us and yet our cynical minds perpetually ask us, “what is this prayer thing?  Does prayer work?  Does it help? Reb Zalman addressed this in his book Davening that won the 2012 National Jewish Book Award.

“Prayer waters thirsty souls like rain on flowers. Prayer may not bring world peace, but it brings my heart peace. Prayer may not cure the sick, but it helps us find healing. Prayer may not guarantee me a job, but it helps me rise up with renewed energy and purpose to address the obstacles before me. A prayer truly prayed is the beginnings of its own answer.  So yes, prayer helps.”

I am holy.  You are holy. Let’s embrace that this Yom Kippur. How might we open up to more spirituality in our Jewish lives this year?

Yom Kippur offers us the possibility of a real experience in all of these worlds, so that body, heart, mind and soul can participate in this powerful day.  The invitation is to commit to being on this journey together, yet each alone, open to the adventure, listening to your needs.  Let’s not just stay in our heads, in the book.  Allow yourself not always to be on the right page, but to focus on a word or phrase that gets your attention. Feel free to put it down and move your body, feel your tender heart opening to the pain and the joy, expand awareness in the mind and let the soul soar.

All of this is not just about one day a year, but about every day of our lives.  You have often heard me say that the most important moment of Yom Kippur is the moment right after it is over.  There is a beautiful tradition to bang in the first nail of the Sukkah right after the final Shofar blast, as an act of continuity and defiance.  Sukkot is all about a willingness to live fully and joyfully, accepting the fragility of our condition.

It is unbelievable to reflect on the journey of our year at Bonai Shalom.  Last Yom Kippur, our building was drowning in five feet of water and many of our members were dealing with the devastating impact of the flood.  We became wandering Jews, camping out at the JCC, Har HaShem, the Universalist Unitarian Church and other temporary shelters and thanks to the incredible dedication, passion, patience, tenacity and generosity of so many volunteers and professionals, we made it back home and now we are gathering in ONE BIG TENT together.  The big tent is a symbol of our community in many ways.  We are diverse in every detail; we think differently, we practice our Judaism differently, we have different genders, sexual preferences, family structures, ethical values; we have different ideas about spirituality, religion and politics.  Yet we are all here in one tent.  The tent has its physical structure, like our beautiful new building does, in the world of assiyah, the world of action, but the tent’s character is formed by the emotional, intellectual and spiritual richness that fills it and flows from the space.  We have so many new programs and events starting up this year. We only thrive by continuing to create vibrant ritual, social and educational programming from our youngest children to our elders that move in all of the four worlds, so that our Jewish lives as individuals and as a community can dance off the pages of the books into our bodies, hearts, minds and souls, with everyone finding their place in the tent.

It is perfect

You are loved

All is clear

And I am holy